One Of Those Days
by Lycan.Kallias
Summary: Naruto, Gaara and Sasuke as roommates? A collection for AU one shots. No real plot or storyline. Just idiocy. Some slight GaaSasuNaru hints in later chapters...
1. Movies

**Just a collection of idiotic tales that I didn't want to make into a bazillion little one shots. So it's just a collection of AU one shots. AU cause I don't think some of this crap fits in the Naruto-verse. There isn't really any plot and it's mostly stupid things based on the stupid things my friends and I do.  
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**Movies**

Sasuke **hated** when his roommates wanted to have a movie night. He really truly hated it. Naruto **always** got to pick first, cause he was a wuss, and he **always** picked the lamest movies. They were usually about some guy, an idiotic woman and his dumb ass friend trying to take out a gang or saving the world, or some such bullshit. Sasuke hated those kinds of movies. Hell, he hated movies in general.

"Pass the popcorn." The bottomless pit known as Naruto asked loudly. The big bowl was passed from the red head to the brunette to the blond. Sasuke became increasingly irritated when loud crunching began next to him. "Gaara. You were right. This movies blows."

"Shh." Sasuke whispered softly, focused on the screen.

Naruto smiled. "Hey, Gaara, what else did we get? I'm sick of this one."

"Shh!" Sasuke's voice had a little more force behind it as he flapped his hand at the noisy blond.

Gaara smirked as he realize what the blue eyed boy was doing and Naruto began shaking with the effort it was taking to keep his laughter silent. "Well, we got The Protector, Casino R-"

"Shh!!" Sasuke nearly shouted, scooting forward. Tears escaped blue eyes that squeezed shut, fighting against the laughter was becoming painful and it threatened to spill forth loudly. Gaara snickered and had to look away from the dying blond and the engrossed Sasuke.

Naruto finally burst and his laughter echoed throughout the small living room. Gaara couldn't stop it either and his deep chuckle joined in. Sasuke's fury just made it even more impossible to stop. The two were chased into the kitchen until their fit was done. Naruto finally gained control of himself and looked up at the red head who was just smirking at him. "I **told** you he'd like romantic comedies." He stated loudly.

Sasuke flipped them off and turned his attention back to '_Music and Lyrics'_.

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**Sasuke seems like the romantic comedy kind of guy.**


	2. Killer

**This one's meh favorite so far. Yeah... out of two. Ha ha.**

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**Killer**

Naruto felt as if his heart was going to burst from beating so fast. He quietly peeked through the crack in the closet door and shivered.

He felt he was lucky he had woken up when he did. He could have been killed so easily, so quietly and no one would've even known. But Naruto had seen the killers feet beneath the door and was able to quickly hide in the closet.

The killer stood in the middle of the room, as if unsure what it was supposed to do now that it's target was M.I.A. Naruto shuddered and the murderer seemed to sense it. He snapped around and started for the folding wooden doors that kept it from it's victim with breakneck speed.

Blue eyes snapped shut and Naruto bit back a scream. With death this close, screaming would do nobody any good and, honestly, it would just piss Sasuke off to no end. No. It was better to face death like a man... cowering in a closet and trying not to wet yourself. 'Note to self: If I live through this... figure out a more manly way to d-'

Something crawled across his bare foot and Naruto could no longer hold it. His blood curdling scream broke through and the closet doors slammed open with a loud bang. He ran through the room and practically flew out the bedroom door. An uneasy looking Gaara and a very grumpy looking Sasuke met him in the hallway. Naruto couldn't stop shaking until he was behind them, glancing back and forth from questioning teal to annoyed onyx.

Sasuke yawned and turned back to his room. "You really need to get over this spider thing."

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**Poor poor Naruto. **


	3. Names

**Why yes. I do things like this in real life.**

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**Names**

"Hey Gaara." The red head looked up from his textbook and sighed. Whenever Naruto used that tone of voice, it meant he had been thinking. Thinking seriously... and, honestly, whenever Naruto thought about something seriously, Gaara always worried about the outcome... Okay, he was just a little terrified.

"Yes?"

"I've been thinking." Of course.

Gaara shifted uncomfortably in the silence his blond roommate let stretch on, finally deciding to prompt him. "What about?"

"Your name."

Gaara looked at the blond lounging on the sofa lazily. What the hell was that supposed to mean? He was thinking about his name? How was he supposed to respond to that? Why was he thinking about his name? **What** was he thinking about his name? What the hell? Out of all the things he could've asked, Gaara simply went with, "Huh?"

"Have you ever thought about your name?" The red head didn't even dare to give that a response. "Don't give me that look. Your name is fucking awesome."

There was a solid minute of blinking and silence before Gaara could say anything. "Uh, thanks?"

Naruto laughed. "Dude. Say your name."

"I think you said that wrong." The blond had to think about that for a minute before he started giggling like a nut.

"Just say your name."

"No." They spent a minute arguing and glaring at each other before Naruto gave up.

"Fine. Just listen then. You **have** to listen." He waited for the other boy to nod that he would before clearing his throat and continuing. "Rawr." He rolled his eyes at the blank look he received. "Ugh. Looks like I hafta explain. Gaara. Gaaaara. Gaaaarah. Garaw. Grawr. Rawr! You name is basically a fucking roar man! Like a battle cry! Hey wait! Where're you going?"

The red head turned and looked at the idiot from the hallway door. "Away from you."

"Aw, c'mon. You gotta admit it was an awesome thought! Everybody's name can be changed into something awesome like that." Gaara raised a missing eyebrow and Naruto smiled at the challenge. "Like my name for instance. Naruto. Naruetoe. Narahtoo. Nasrahtwo. Nosrahtuu. Nosferatu!" The look on the older boy's face told him he didn't get it. "Fuck, watch a damn movie for chrissake."

Unfortunately, Gaara was intrigued and the rest of the afternoon was wasted changing others names into weird things. Sakura became Shang-ri La, Temari into Tamagotchi, Kankuro changed to Canker Sore and so on. Gaara was smirking and Naruto was full out laughing by the time they reached a name they couldn't quite distort. Before they could get anywhere, their subject walked into the room.

"What are you two doing?" Sasuke asked spotting an oddly relaxed Gaara and an obviously frustrated Naruto spread out on the floor. The room filled with silence as the two just stared at him. The raven haired boy was becoming seriously uneasy when a grin broke out across Naruto's face and Gaara smirked. They looked at each other then back at their slightly disturbed roommate, who fought the urge to take a step back. Naruto spoke first and Gaara finished his thought.

"Such 'n"

"Uke."

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**Ha ha. The original one I came up with for Sasuke... wasn't appropriate for anyone.**


	4. Cheat

**Woot. **

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**Cheat**

It was just one of those days. None of them had anything going on so all three were seated in their living room, Gaara barely reading a thick textbook while Naruto and Sasuke battled it out in Mortal Kombat. The red head found great amusement in watching the two. Sasuke always had the upper hand throughout the first half of the battle, but Naruto was the comeback kid, able to pull ahead and win in the last few seconds. The brunettes growing agitation was very very amusing.

The final battle of their latest challenge was well underway and, surprisingly, Naruto was still losing. Sasuke began feeling uneasy as Naruto kept his cool. He knew the blond must have **another** secret move up his sleeve.

Naruto saw the tension in Sasuke's shoulders and smiled inside. "Y'know those weird guys that, like, fall in love and have sex with goats and shit?"

Sasuke looked at him from the corner of his eye. The blond still looked completely bored so Sasuke figured it was safe to continue. "... Yeah?"

"What happens if the goat gets pregnant?" Sasuke froze and dropped the controller just as Naruto's character delivered the finishing blow. "Hey look, I won again."

Gaara smiled and picked his book back up. "Oh, he's evil."

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**And that, dear children, is how you cheat.**


	5. Priceless

**I really just wanted to use the word 'priceless'**

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**Priceless**

Gaara really didn't mind the blond's questions. Really he didn't. Sure, sometimes there were way too many for one day and he'd get a little annoyed, but all in all they weren't too bad. It kind of made the red head a little happy. Someone was showing an actual interest in him and it was a nice feeling. Sadly, Naruto just didn't seem to know boundaries. So when the question rolled off his tongue so casually, Gaara was startled enough to drop the mango he'd been eating.

"So, do you jerk off at all?" Naruto didn't see how this question could get such a response from anyone, including the red head, but the look was absolutely priceless. Teal eyes widened, a mixture of horror, and disbelief. "Cause, if you did, I think you'd be less up tight. Seriously. It'd get rid of a lot of that tension between your eyes and shit." Naruto had to fight to keep a straight face.

Gaara had turned a nice shade of pink and his mouth was wide open. The blond was sure this would be the only time he'd see this look on the stoic red head.

Naruto glanced down the hallway to make sure a certain Uchiha's door was still closed and almost cheered when it was. "Yeah, y'know how sometimes Sasuke looks like he might actually be almost somewhat happy in the morning? Why do ya think that is?" It was practically killing him not to laugh. "So do ya?" Gaara could only shake his head no and looked as if he were a million miles away. "Well you should." Naruto was really enjoying himself, he didn't even notice the smile that slowly spread across the red heads face.

"What if I don't know how?" This time Naruto was caught off guard. How the hell does a twenty year old not know how to masturbate? Gaara leaned towards him. "Will you show me?" Naruto's mind went blank and he fell off the couch with a loud thump. A blinding flash went off above him, making his eyes blink against the burning sensation it left. He heard Sasuke laugh and Gaara chuckle.

"Uzumaki, that face was **priceless**."

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**What a topic.... **


	6. iPod

**And some how that actually worked.**

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**iPod**

It was kind of cute.

Just kind of cute. Gaara wanted to pick it up... he **really **did. He wasn't exactly sure why. It was just a stupid little thing. It had a stupid face, stupid color, a stupid texture. It was just stupid in general... But Gaara seriously wanted to hold it. "This is absurd." He muttered, flushed pink and picked up the damn iPod.

He had to admit Naruto could find the cutest things known to man. The sleeping hat, the pajama's, the cellphone charms and now this iPod cover.

Gaara didn't know what it was supposed to be. Two tiny horns at the top, stubby arms and legs and some itty bitty black eyes right above it's wide gaping mouth that framed the screen. It's soft gummy like feel and neon orange color made it obvious who it's owner was and... Gaara wanted to... hug it...

It was a frustrating thing to be sure, but the red head couldn't bring himself to put the thing down. It was that fucking disturbingly cute!

The headphones dangled from it invitingly and he lifted one to his ear. Naruto himself was loud and obnoxious, but he kept his taste in music surprisingly quiet. Gaara felt curiosity rise within himself. It began to fester and itch until he couldn't help himself. So, despite the little warning bells going off in the back of his mind, he turned it on.

"I'm back." Sasuke growled, walking through the front door. The onyx eyed boy paused when he spotted his quiet roommate on the couch, frozen in his spot. Sasuke wasn't too sure he was still breathing. "Gaara?" The red head jumped up and yanked the headphones out of his ears.

"I've got to go... find that thing." He mumbled and disappeared into his room. Sasuke raised an eyebrow and picked up the bright orange object he recognized as Naruto's. Gaara was kind of weird in general, but that was weirder than usual... and he defiantly had to get in on it. He put the ear buds in and hit play.

_"Dream about sex and all night long I think about sex and all the time I dream about sex with you."_

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**I love that song. JC Chasez rocks my world.**


	7. Stuck

**AN: True story**

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**Stuck**

Naruto's tummy gave a loud rumble as he walked into the apartment building. Blue eyes drooped tiredly as he let out a long sigh. It had been a long day... A very very long day. All he wanted to do was eat something then crash out, maybe a few video games or movies sprinkled in between. Just something to help wash the stench of the day off his soul. But it seemed fate had other plans.

A small crowd had gathered in the lobby surrounding two firefighters who seemed to be fighting with the elevator doors. He spotted Sasuke by the front desk and made his way over. The brunette was still in his work clothes so Naruto figured he hadn't been upstairs yet. "What's up?" He asked when he was a few feet away.

Sasuke raised a brow at the gloomy tone in the blonds voice but dismissed it. "Some idiot got stuck in the elevator." The blond just nodded absently and shifted the grocery bag to his other arm.

"I just wanna get home." He grumbled and began weaving his way towards the neglected stairwell next to the elevators. They were at the front of the crowed when the sound of the metallic doors giving up made their heads turn. They both froze instantly and Naruto's groceries fell to the linoleum with a loud thud.

"Took your sweet ass time." A rough voice growled as Gaara stepped out of the elevator... wearing nothing but a glare and a towel. His entire pale body seemed to flush a pale pink as he spotted them, freezing as well.

Naruto had had it. Loud laughter rang through the large entryway and forced him to his knees and tears ran down his face. Sasuke chuckled loudly beside him, unable to keep it in as well. Teal eyes glared at them furiously as pale hands gripped at the fluffy black towel and the red head started up the stairs angrily.

"W-Wait!" Naruto gasped out, crawling up after him. Sasuke scooped up the groceries and hurried after them. "H-H-How!?"

"I don't want to talk about it!!" The crowd in the lobby heard the red head shout back before the door swung shut with a loud 'click'.

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**Wow. Uh, has anyone else noticed 'note' and 'tone' have the same letters...? I just figured this out... lmao**


	8. Queer

**AN: Hoo Haa!**

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**Queer**

It was an offhanded remark. He hadn't meant to start what he started. Honestly. "Gaara, you're so queer sometimes." The red head gave him a small smirk and took the sculpture to his room. He knew he was in for it when the head of golden hair in front of him tilted to the left. Several minutes of silence ensued before Naruto turned to him. "Yes?"

"Gaara's gay?"

A loud crash erupted from the red heads room but Sasuke ignored it. "Not that I know of..."

"But you just called him gay."

"No. I called him queer."

"N that means gay. Y'know, like Queer Eye For The Straight Guy."

"Queer also means weird Naruto."

The blond thought about that for a second. "Nuh uh!"

The brunette was becomeing frustrated quickly. "Words can have two meanings. Like hammer does."

"Huh?"

"You know. A hammer is a tool, but hammer can also mean using the hammer."

"That's only for real words not slang!" Sasuke would've thought the blond was fucking with him if he hadn't looked so god damn convinced he was right.

"Queer is a real word."

"No way! It's slang!"

"Fuck! Just look it up in the dictionary you moron!" Sasuke finally shouted, ready to throttle the blond.

Naruto just stared at him, apparently thinking about it, before a smile broke out across his face. "Whatever! It isn't in the dictionary!"

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**Queer: **_adj._ strange or odd from a conventional viewpoint; unusually different**.**

**Naruto... is queer.... and a blond.**


	9. Weenis

**AN: Ah... true story time.**

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**Weenis**

The tall brunette sat down in the uncomfortable blue plastic waiting chair gracefully, eyes pinched closed against the irritating fluorescent light of the waiting room. Of all the times he had to take his car to the mechanic... Naruto had been downing energy drinks for the past half hour, encouraging a certain red head to keep up with him can for can... Now both were practically bouncing off the pristine white walls. Suddenly someone slammed into the chair next to his, jerking it to the side and slamming his elbow into the wall painfully. His funny bone sent a violent snap down his arm and he reached for his injured elbow, glaring at the over excited blond next to him.

"What the fuck?" He growled.

"What be up grouchy?" Naruto smiled, flashing his brilliant white teeth before blue eyes snapped to Sasuke's hand, rubbing his tingling elbow.

"You just slammed me into the wall moron! Now my fucking elbow-" Sasuke was cut off by Naruto's sharp laugh, drawing all eyes in their direction. He just became louder as Gaara's chuckle, most likely laughing because the blond was, joined in. Naruto was laughing himself silly, gasping for air and flailing his legs about. "What's so damn funny?" The onyx eyed man growled as every set of eyes in the room became amused or offended by his companions inability to control himself.

"Ga-Gaara!" Naruto gasped out, reaching for the lanky pale boy beside him. "Sa-Sasuke -snort- just hit.... hit his WEENIS!!"

"Oh christ." Sasuke rolled his eyes as the teal eyed boy nearly collapsed trying not to laugh out loud.

"Weenis!" Naruto chirped again slipping off the chair and hitting his head on the floor which only made the two laugh harder. "S-Sasuke's weenis!!" The brunette rolled his eyes trying not to die of embarrassment as a few people around them started laughing lightly.

"Did -gasp- did you know your weenis has little or no feeling? It can -snort- can be pinched and pr-prodded without pain." Gaara giggled to the floor, on his knees beside the uncontrollable blond. He knew exactly what would the blue eyed boy would do with that information.

Naruto shot straight up and grabbed the brunettes hand, a sever look on his face and asked "Sasuke! Will you prod my weenis?!?!" before he and Gaara collapsed in laughter.

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**Weenis... lol**


	10. Routine

**Ah... you all knew this was coming... If you don't like the maleXmale thing... don't read this chapter. Ha ha ha! It kind of mentions... uh, shounen-ai? We'll call this the official warning. **

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**Routine**

Gaara always took his showers first. The red head was all about heat. The cold tap barely turned on as the nearly scalding water engulfed him. It wasn't only the fact he thought hot water was the best way to get dirt from his body, it reminded him of where he grew up.

Sasuke was always next, his water lukewarm. Not to hot, not too cold. The prefect temperature to help him focus more on cleaning his body than getting lost in the sensation of water pouring over his body. It helped him relax and become neutral like the water itself.

Naruto, of course, was last. His showers cold as ice because... well, you'd have to take cold showers every morning too if the red head and brunette walked past you every morning with water dripping over their beautifully toned bodies in nothing but a towel.

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**Shortest chapter yet. Ha ha ha! Cold showers...**


	11. Uh?

**Ha ha ha! Cold baths... Ha ha ha! I've never thought of that. That made me laugh so damn hard.**

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**Uh...**

It was a peaceful day. Sasuke smiled. Everything had gone according to plan, no screw ups, no stuttering. No it had been a perfect presentation. He knew they would have to pick him. He was in such a good mood that he even invited Naruto and Gaara on his nightly walk around downtown. "Sasuke Sasuke!" His smile fell a bit.

He was regretting that decision at the moment.

"Sasuke!!" The blond screamed, forcing the brunette to turn around furiously. "What?"

The blond thrust a very grumpy looking turtle in his face. "You gotta take this home!" His face fell into his 'Why the fuck would I do that?' look. Naruto just continued to smile. "It totally looks just like you!!" He shouted happily, as the redhead beside him broke into a low laugh. Sasuke fought to keep his anger back.

"How the fuck do I look like this thing?" He growled glaring at the blond.

"Cause when I was walking by Deffy, I named him Deffy by the way, he totally glared at me! Just like you are now. You could totally be twins!" Sasuke's lip twitched in annoyance as Gaara's laugh became slightly louder. He spun on his heel and walked away ignoring Naruto's cries to wait.

When the others caught up with him, thankfully turtle free, he tried to block out the blond's annoying babble. "How'd the presentation go?" Gaara asked lightly, trying to pull the brunette from his funk. It worked.

Sasuke smirked. "Nothing less than perfect."

"As expected from the..." Gaara paused and looked over his shoulder. "What is he doing?"

Sasuke turned to see the blue eyed boy staring up at a cathedral, face clearly amused and thinking. Black eyes looked up as well but found nothing that would've caught the blond's interest. He walked back to the boys side and stared up at the spot he was sure the blond found so interesting. There, of course, was nothing there. He looked over at the redhead and raised a brow.

Gaara shrugged and spoke the question they both had on their minds. "What are you doing?" The answer had the redhead trying to hold back laughter while Sasuke's hand flew up to his forehead with a loud slap.

The blond turned to them excitedly, grin suddenly mischievous. "I was thinking about dressing up like a demon and standing on that platform, glaring and hissing at people as they walk by."

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**Has anyone else imagined doing that? Or is it just me? And the Uchiha glare seriously reminds me of a turtle...  
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	12. Drain

**I had to do it! I HAD to! Ha ha ha!**

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**Drain**

Naruto was going to die. He'd accepted that as the truth, as fact... He didn't have to be happy about it or welcome it with wide welcoming arms though. He was, in fact, dreading it. It would be a long and agonizing death, a death a true hero should die. At the moment, he didn't want a hero's death... just chop his head off and get it over with. Too bad he knew that's not how it would play out.

He hung his head as his heart sank to his knees. 'Why? Why me?' he asked himself. 'Cause you can't listen.' he answered himself. He looked into the drain hoping by some miracle it would give the item back. He tried again to fit his hand into the hole in vain. "Damn it!" He moaned, hand now sore, and went back to staring into the hole.

"What are you doing?" Naruto jumped and turned to see the half naked redhead beside him looking down the drain as well.

His heart tried to slow it furious beating to no avail. "Praying for a-" He turned and grabbed Gaara's hand. Teal eyes widened as blue eyes flew between his hand and the drain. "Miracle!" He shouted smiling as he'd never smiled before.

"Uh..."

"I need a favor!" Gaara stood stupefied too focused on the hand around his to even listen. "Reach down there and grab it!" This made the taller boy jump to life, a blush staining his pale face.

"What?"

"Sasuke's ring! Reach into the drain and get it. I'd do it but my hands are too big."

"No."

"But your hands are slimmer than mine." He started pouting. "Please." Gaara pulled his hand away and looked at the drain. He didn't know what was in there... it could be filled with bugs... He shuddered. "Come on Gaara. Please! I'll buy you dinner." Gaara thought about it for a few minutes before sliding his hand down the metal tube.

The blond cheered and jumped for joy. It was a tight fit and the slimy walls didn't make it anymore pleasant. He cringed as he hit the bottom, hooking his fingers around the ring and began pulling it up. "Shit."

"What?"

"...I'm stuck..."

Naruto's face became horrified. "You can't be stuck!"

"Evidently I can." The blond let out a wail. "Grab the dishsoap."

"Right!" Once the soap was applied Gaara tugged on his arm. Didn't give an inch.

"Fuck. Get the oil." Nothing. They went through everything they could think of. Crisco, mayonnaise, shampoo, and Vaseline. Nada. "Sonava... pull on my waist." Naruto took his place and wrapped his arms around the redheads waist. "Pull on three. One, two... three." Gaara tugged his hand up while the blond pulled him back by his waist. The older boy smiled when he felt his hand begin to come loose. "Just a bit more." The arms pulled harder.

"Oka-" With a giant 'shloop' sound the captive hand was free... and they boys were thrown across the room, Naruto landing hard on the floor, the redhead landing harder on him, knocking the wind out of both of them. The blond pushed him off and doubled over, clutching his groin, while his roommate leaned over and began checking him over.

Sasuke Uchiha walked into the kitchen to find a groaning Naruto, a panting Gaara and a jar of Vaseline.

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**That'd be a scene to walk in on.**


	13. E

**I'm just so damn bored...

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**E**

"You'd think with a name like 'Heartless' they'd be a little less likable."

"But this is Disney you're talking about."

"True." Gaara froze while pulling out his keys, turning to look a the brunette. Sasuke had the same slightly shocked, slightly horrified look on his face. They couldn't believe they'd just been discussing video games... A video game they both slightly disliked... The blond was rubbing off on them. "We've got to spend a little less time with him." Gaara growled shoving his keys into the lock.

"Agreed." Sasuke mumbled, pushing the door open, but neither moved.

Naruto had said he hadn't been feeling well so both knew he'd stayed in... but neither were prepared for the sight that greeted them. Mass chaos reigned in their apartment. Clothes were thrown about, draped over everything, the smell of burnt food attacked their noses, the stereo was booming a song with lyrics both couldn't decipher, and Naruto was running around in his boxers singing along with the strange music.

"Yo! Rawr! Sasu!" The blue eyed man shouted, running over to them, pulling them into a hug. "You guys are hoooome! Finally! Oh god! I've been sooooo bored!! I thought I'd go through my clothes, but that got lame fast. Then I tried to cook, we're outta eggs now by the way, but I burned most of it. Then I tried playing some games, but I've played them all already!" The blond babbled quickly. "Homigosh! Ifoundthecoolestsongontheinternets!!"

Gaara tried to take a step back, but Naruto grabbed his hand and swung him into the room, forcing him to dance with him. Sasuke watched, at a loss for words, as the overactive blond flung the redhead around the room, laughing like a nut.

The older male finally freed himself from his roommates grasp and pounced on the speakers, tearing them from the stereo. Silence enveloped the room, but Naruto decided to sing instead. The brunet grabbed the blond by the face and forced him to stand still.

"What the hell are you on?"

"Eh? Me? Nothin'. I just got bored!" He giggled like a girl and gave the other male a peck on the nose before jumping away. "Oh, wait! I had, like, seven of those big ass pixie sticks my auntie sent me! Yummy. I want another!!"

"No!" Gaara grabbed the bouncing male around the waist and lifted him off the floor, forcing the tan boy to giggle again and begin chanting 'Strong Rawr. Strong Rawr.' in a girlish falsetto. "Go find his stash." Sasuke returned moments later with a bag of candy as Naruto began coming down from his sugar high.

"Strong Rawr... I'm tiiiirrrreeed." He whined when they put him on his bed and shut the door to his bedroom. The brunet leaned against the wall and stared at the redhead. Gaara leaned against the opposite wall, observing the ceiling. As soon as snoring started behind the door, they both pushed off and walked to the disaster zone formerly known as their living room. Sasuke let out a heavy sigh and began gathering the clothes while Gaara righted the furniture.

They were just about finished when the redhead started chuckling. Onyx eyes looked over at his pale roommate like he'd lost it. "What's wrong with you?"

Gaara's laugh deepened. "Could you imagine him on E?"

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**E – ecstasy. A drug known to cause hyperness. Naruto on E would be funny... don't do drugs kiddo's.  
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	14. Jail

**This one made me cry. Not because it was so funny or anything. Just because I was sitting in a theater, watching an incredibly boring movie when I thought of it and I was trying not to laugh like a moron during an 'emotional' death... I held it in so much I thought it was hilarious that I was trying to not offend the people around me that I started crying.

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**Jail**

Naruto always asked the redhead questions. He also asked Sasuke questions but Gaara was usually the only one to give him an answer every time. Thanks to his overwhelming urge to know stuff, he now knew Gaara's favorite color, favorite book, favorite place in the city, favorite diner, hell, he even knew his mothers maiden name.

But there was one question he felt a little wary about asking. It chewed on his brain like a little ghostie and was beginning to drive him a bit nuts. Several times he found himself ready to ask, but each time he'd pull back and ask something amazingly stupid. Like the one he'd just asked.

"Tell me why you need to know what kind of underwear I wear and I'll let you know." The redhead's attention returned to his book and he shook his head.

The blond hung his head and heaved a sigh. "Never mind." The silence that settled over the two had the blond twitching in his seat uncomfortably. He really really HAD to know! "Gaara!" The redhead would've jumped at the blond's volume, but he was pretty used to it at that point. He looked back up calmly and met the blue eyes. Naruto chewed on the side his mouth. "Why don't you have any eyebrows!?!" The blond fidgeted under his roommates bland gaze and waited patiently. When it seemed as if he wouldn't get an answer, Gaara looked back down at his book finally opened his mouth.

"Last year I went to jail and some guy made me his bitch. He burned my eyebrows off as a sign of dominance and they never grew back."

Naruto's fidgeting stopped and he stared at the older boy beside him on the couch, mouth hanging open, eyes wide. "Uh..." His mouth fumbled for something to say... anything to say. "I... it... uh... wha?"

"I learned a lot of things that week." The blue eyed man jumped when a pale hand landed on his knee. "Want me to teach you some of it?" Gaara's tongue swiped across his lips, his eyes still on the book in front of him. Naruto's face flared up and he ran from the room, hand held to his nose as he felt it begin to bleed.

As soon as the blond's bedroom door slammed shut and a strangled scream sounded out the redhead smiled. He turned towards the kitchen when he heard Sasuke snort. They kept their laughter silent and their shoulders shook with the effort. "Are you," The brunet had to stop to take a deep, calming breath. "Are you ever going to tell him you really lost them playing around with a propane grill when you were three?"

The redhead smiled. "Nope."

* * *

**I like Gaara's explination better.**


End file.
